A Connecticut Yankee in Dumbledores Court
by Azreal1313
Summary: There was very little common sense at Hogwarts Charles "Chazz" Logan intended to change this with good old fashioned muggle(born) smarts. An AU story featuring a modern day setting and a technically savvy OC.
1. Chapter 1

Charles Logan commonly know as Chazz, was your average kid. He loved video games, sports, playing outside, and had a wild imagination, he was also a wizard and currently was aboard the scarlet Hogwarts express headed for Hogwarts school of witchcraft and wizardry. Why they couldn't just use the word magic in place of "witchcraft and wizardry" was beyond him but rather solidified his theory that all wizards were crazy. For example they placed their super secret train station through a wall...in the largest train station in Britain. Chazz mused over the events that had led up to him being accepted into Hogwarts. On the day of his eleventh birthday he'd received a letter written on expensive parchment paper telling him that he had been accepted into Hogwarts. Chazz had promptly thrown it away and googled it to see if it was a common scam. After all Hogwarts sounded like some kind of mutated swine flu. After finding nothing but a couple of really gross pictures of pigs Chazz forgot all about the incident till the next day, when ten of the exact same letter were in his mailbox. After wondering why Minerva Mcgonagall hated the amazon rainforest so much, trashed those too. The number of the blasted letters continued to escalate until two weeks latter a tall woman in what appeared to be a green bathrobe and a honest to god witches hat appeared at his door.  
"Are you Charles Logan" the woman stated in a somewhat frumpy Scottish brogue.  
"Chazz" replied Chazz.  
"Excuse me?" The woman questioned pursing her lips together in annoyance.  
"I go by Chazz not Charles, and what do you want I'm in a match of Halo and Its live " Chazz stated as nicely as he could, seeing as he hated being called Charles by anyone other than his parents.  
The woman's brows furrowed in confusion at the mention of Halo but continued on anyways " I'm from Hogwarts the school of-" her words were cut short as Chazz promptly slammed the door in her face and pulled out his cell phone to dial 911.  
There was a click as the door opened on its own revealing an irate Mcgonagall  
"Why...I ...never" she spluttered.  
"How the hell did you get in here" Chazz shouted followed closely by "get the hell out before I call the police"  
"I used magic to open the door, I'm a witch, haven't you gotten your Hogwarts letter?" Mcgonagall questioned.  
Looking sheepish but not lowering his guard Chazz replied "well...er...yeah but um I thought it was a scam, still do, if you really are a witch prove it."  
Mcgonagall did prove it she levitated a nearby book case.

Chazz laughed at the memory of his introduction to the wizarding world. He still half thought this was all some sort of really elaborate scam, and the other half of his brain had accepted both the fact that wizards were real and the fact that they were also insane. He was still contemplating wizards lack of sanity as he was hit in the face by an open door.  
Looking straight up he saw a freckled ginger leaning over him. The ginger said in a tone of wonder "blimey Harry do you reckon he's knocked out" this was directed towards a short boy with glasses and crazy black hair who was standing in the compartments doorway next to a brunet girl. Of course thought Chazz with the amount of frizz in the girls hair the ginger could have said "hairy" and it would have applied.  
As Chazz sat up the girl shouted "Ron I told you to check the corridor first"  
"Blimey sorry Hermione" Ron mumbled.  
"Hey" Chazz said "lets all ignore the kid on the ground with a probable skull fracture" he made sure to fill his tone with sarcasm as he stood up. "I'm Chazz by the way, can I sit with you?"  
The rest of the train ride was mostly uneventful baring a run in with a extremely forgetful, and slightly overweight, student named Neville Longbottom and the trolleys arrival. Chazz was extreamly thankful for the copious amounts of normal food he had packed in his second suitcase, he refused to use a trunk, wizard food was weird. Animated frogs, disgusting jellybeans, suckers made of acid, and licorice, this was proof that wizards were crazy who in their right mind liked licorice?

Finally after what felt like forever, Chazz and his new friends Hermione Granger, a fellow muggle born who had accepted wizarding culture a lot more easily, Ron weasel or Weasley or something who was a pure blood, and Harry Potter who was a celebrity for not dying or something like that, had finally arrived at Hogwarts. Chazz was extremely excited as the massive doors opened.  
"First years" the voice of Mcgonagall cut through the air. "The sorting is about to begin, if you'll follow me" and the entire group of first years moved after her like a crowd of ducklings. The sorting itself was mostly boring a hat sat on your head read your mind and picked which house you should belong to. Harry, Hermione and Ron all made it into Gryffindor. When it was Chazz's turn the hat seemed confused. Hmm clever, cunning, intelligent, brave, loyal all in different measures which house to choose which house to choose.  
"Gryffindor please?" Chazz requested  
Gryffindor? Why but Slytherin could offer you-  
Chazz cut the hat off "well you see my favorite colors red"  
Red you chose Gryffindor because of your favorite color...very well it's GRYFFINDOR.


	2. Chapter 2

Authors note: yes I know that magic messes with electricity and probably wifi I'm circumnavigating this by having Chazz install a generator and a modem (yes this kid has one hell of an internet addiction) inside Hogwarts wards where it should function as normal.

Chazz was running on so much adrenalin by the time he finally reached the Gryffindor dorm. The feast in the great hall had been pretty good, sans the pumpkin juice that he was hesitant to try who juiced a pumpkin for heavens sake. The trip to the dorm was just plain weird though. The stair cases moved not a sensible movement like escalators which actually took you where you want to go but a 90 degree turn which took you nowhere near where you wanted to go and ran the risk of killing someone! Really whose bright idea was that. Between that and two students getting their legs stuck in false stairs, Neville and Ron of course, Chazz was once again sure of the insanity of wizard and had a huge adrenalin rush, He was afraid of hights and moving stairs at great hights... Chazz figured he'd be up for a while so he'd probably watch a movie. Chazz had packed three suitcases one for school supplies and clothes, one for food, and one for his technology, which Chazz could not live without. It had been extremely difficult to convince his parents he needed a generator, and a modem, and a tv dish. All for school. Needless to say they were all relatively small and his parents were relatively wealthy as they were both doctors but it still had been hard to convince them of the pressing need. The other students in the dorm were looking at him very strangely as he opened one of the windows and thrust the dish outside once the dish was in place he cast the only spell he knew, a sticking charm to secure it.  
"What in the bloody hell is that thing" asked Ron.  
"It's a Television dish" Chazz replied.  
Harry nodded and mentioned he'd seen one on top of his aunt and uncles house.  
"Well what in the bloody hells a teliwishion and why do you need a plate?" Ron asked looking more and more confused.  
"Ummm...it shows movies...which are like pictures but they move" it was really hard to explain what TV was he'd never met someone who didn't know what TV was.  
"So it shows pictures" Neville said.  
"Well yeah but they move" said Chazz happy someone got what he was saying kinda.  
"So pictures" Neville said again.  
Chazz gave up at that point and finished stetting up his generator and TV he figured he'd set up his Xbox later. Upon turning it on he surfed to the movie channel the purebloods and half bloods in the room were sitting slack jawed they'd never seen a picture frame that could entirely change pictures before. Chazz just sat back and enjoyed the quiet, and his movie.

Please review: I didn't like how small the student body at Hogwarts was so OCs are appreciated I need blood status, house, physical description, and basic personality traits. Also this story is trying to be unique so any feed back on what you want to see and how involved in the main story events you want Chazz to be would be very appreciated, conversely tell me what you don't like and I will work on it.  
Azreal1313 out.


	3. Chapter 3

I would like to thank LightsPast for her Character Elle Golding who she has generously allowed me to use.

The next day Chazz was awakened by Metallica playing on his alarm clock. He was glad he had brought one. Were they magically supposed to just wake up on time? After getting dressed in a pair of jeans and a t shirt, robes were just plain ridiculous, he headed down to breakfast determined to learn how to transfigure pumpkin juice into orange juice. At breakfast he nearly snorted his tea, which he thought was a safer beverage than pumpkin juice, when Ron was explaining to the entire table about dark muggle magic and their giant picture frames called TVs. After breakfast Mcgonnagall passed out their schedules and his first class was charms. The charms teacher was about 4 feet tall, literally, Chazz thought that professor Flitwick must be some kind of dwarf or magical midget or something. Today they were learning about magical theory and were supposed to be taking notes Chazz figured he'd just video tape it and play it back later. Half way through the lecture Flitwick stopped and stared at Chazz.  
"Mr. Logan where are your notes" Flitwick asked.  
"Uhh I'm recording the lecture on my phone" Chazz replied.  
"What is this phone" Flitwick asked.  
Chazz held up the device "it's a muggle device it can call other phones, and take pictures, and access the Internet, I'm using it to record the lecture meaning I'm taking a picture of the entire lesson"  
"Flitwick looked astonished "well carry on then two points to Gryffindor for out of the box thinking"  
The lesson continued on Chazz was confused by the house points system how was using his friggin cell phone worth points? Oh well he really didn't care enough to investigate any more.

After class Chazz had a free period to do homework, he had an essay that he had to write by hand as Flitwick didn't have an email address, seriously who doesn't have an email! All of a sudden he was on the ground. This was becoming a rather alarming habit of his.  
"Shit, shit, shit I'm sorry I wasn't looking where I was going and I-" stammered a short girl with blond hair in a spiky pixie cut and dark green eyes.  
"It's fine really" Chazz said rubbing his sore head "not the first time that's happened, I'm Chazz by the way" after a moment he added "Gryffindor" as an afterthought.  
"Elle...Elle Golding Ravenclaw" the girl said still blushing furiously from the collision.  
"Umm are you a muggleborn" Chazz asked noticing the flip phone she grabbed as he scrambled to help her grab her stuff, his was securely in his backpack.  
"Yeah" she said tentatively "why."  
"I'm one too and I noticed you have a phone" Chazz said quickly he didn't want to be thought of as a pure blood jerk.  
"Really! Like no one in my house is!" Squealed Elle "do you have a phone? I almost didn't get one cus my parents are kinda poor but if your a mug too you must have right? What's your number"  
Chazz gave her his number and warned her before she dashed off too charms that Flitwick didn't have an Email.  
He found his way to the common room and sat with Ron, Harry, Hermione, and Neville. Ron and Neville were struggling with the concept while Harry and Hermione couldn't figure out how to use a quill and ruined many sheets of parchment before Ron had ceased laughing enough to actually help them. Chazz just smirked at Hermione who stuck her tongue at him.  
"We were supposed to use quill and parchment not a note book and a pen" she wined obviously annoyed that she hadn't thought of it herself.  
"Well I figured they're more of guidelines anyways" quoted Chazz, Hermione laughed obviously getting the reference, Harry, Ron, and Neville sat with confusion written plainly on their faces, Chazz asked "hello, pirates of the Caribbean,anyone, no, okay" and shrugged and returned to his work.

Chazz's next class was potions so he grabbed his book, seriously had they never heard of e-books, oh wait they literally hadn't, his pewter cauldron and potions making supplies which were a bear to carry and headed towards the dungeon with a good fifteen minutes to spare incase he got lost. After getting lost not once not twice but three times because of those dammed moving stairs Chazz made it to the dungeons just as the classroom doors were opening. The teacher professor Snape, who appeared to use to much hair product, stalked into the room when he reached the front began a clearly pre-prepared speech "You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion-making. As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses... I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death - if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as I usually have to teach." Chazz thought this was very melodramatic but was determined to do well in potions as it seemed like a very useful skill to have.  
"Mr. Potter what is the difference between Asphodel and Wormwood?" Snape asked Harry.  
"I don't know sir" Harry asked.  
"Can anybody help mr. Potter" asked Snape ignoring Hermione's raised arm.  
Chazz decided to do something "Siri what is the difference between Asphodel and Wormwood" he asked.  
"Asphodel and Wormwood are both parts of the same plant called aconite" a mechanized voice emerged from Chazz's phone this startled Snape.  
"What was that" he snapped.  
"That sir" Chazz replied "was your answer."  
"Five points from Grryfindor" Snape growled "for seeking outside aid."  
Chazz couldn't care less house points really didn't matter at all to him. The rest of the class went fairly well, except for when Neville's caldron melted, Chazz's potion had even managed to garner a very resentful "not bad" from Snape. Chazz had however learned a valuable lesson potion masters and Siri didn't mix well.

I still need OC's I can't promise a large part but I need to flesh out the student body so no OC will be turned away. I will give you credit at the beginning of the chapter in which they are first featured.


	4. Chapter 4

After lunch was transfiguration with the Ravenclaws, Chazz was excited for the opportunity to see his new friend Elle. In transfiguration Mcgonagall gave a rather dramatic speech about the dangers of transfiguration and had them pick partners to transform a match into a needle. Chazz was paired up with Elle, after fifteen minutes of passing it between them and no results Chazz looked around the room and was quite happy that no one had managed to transfigure their matches either...except for Hermione who was sitting with a very smug look on her face and a needle on her desk. By the end of class Elle had a metal match and Chazz had a pointy toothpick which was better than most of the class, a boy named Shamus had managed to set his match and his eyebrows on fire. This was no surprise Shamus had also managed to blow up his cup of pumpkin juice when he tried to transfigure it to rum at breakfast.  
The next class was herbology which was in Chazz's opinion insane as he'd read the textbook wizard plant were dangerous. He'd managed to not get lost this time, as he'd had the idea to use sticking charms on the staircases, this had a side effect of pissing of a lot of 7th years coming out of DADA. Herbology was as insane as Chazz had imagined the plant he was attempting to repot had attempted to eat him and Ron while Harry and Neville attempted to pry it off of them and Hermione fetched Professor Sprout. Seriously what was the chance that someone whose last name was Sprout taught about plants. After professor sprout pried the stupid plant off of Ron and him, Chazz stuck its mouth closed. After class was over there was free time till dinner. Having already finished his charms essay Chazz had nothing to do for a while so he figured he'd get the Gryffindors started on halo. The results were spectacular, wizards sucked at video games Ron got stuck in a corner, Neville blew himself up, Harry drove of a cliff, Dean got splattered by Harry on his way to the cliff, Shamus wandered off the map, Hermione got sniped by Chazz because she was laughing so hard at the others, Fred and George tried to pick up trip mined, Lavender Brown thought fusion coils were pretty so she punched it, and Chazz, Chazz got the most kills he'd ever got in one match...using only a magnum. Before dinner Chazz had also managed to get Neville addicted to soda and convince half of the first years that they couldn't live without cute cat pictures. Corrupting innocents never exposed to caffeine or the Internet to the glorious wonders of Dr. Pepper and You Tube was what Chazz lived for. Dinner was surprisingly good, Chazz had discovered that if you before your meal asked the plates and cups what you wanted to eat or drink you got it, since when he'd asked for soda he'd gotten soda water Chazz had stuck with milk, transfiguration of pumpkin juice no longer appeared necessary.

The next day held the lesson Chazz dreaded most, flying lessons, Chazz was terrified of heights, he was also an adrenalin junkie which made for an interesting combination. Flying lesson was shared with Slytherin Draco Malfoy decided to make a point to harass Chazz, probably because he was standing next to him.  
"Your looking rather pale are you scared mudblood" Draco sneered.  
"Terrified actually" Chazz answered truthfully "thanks for asking"  
"Do you not know what that word means Mudblood" asked Draco obviously confused by Chazz's response or lack there of to his insult.  
"No I do, but you see it doesn't bother me" Chazz answered.  
"Why not" snapped Draco.  
"Well I see it this way, muggles have gone to the moon, invented computers, phones, tablets, holograms, e-textiles, nanobots, robotic surgery, ion drives, supercollider, telescopes In space, and so much else. And since the what Middle Ages wizards have done shit so yeah I'd rather be a muggle born. Mudblood and proud!" Chazz explained. This absolutely stupefied Malfoy causing his jaw to drop.  
"But...purebloods are...muggles...inferior...mudblood" Draco stuttered absolutely stunned.  
Chazz simply answered with "mudblood and proud."  
At this point the flight instructor arrived and had them command their brooms up Chazz used a sticking spell rather creatively when it wouldn't rise to his hand, he applied a sticking charm to his pants and the top of the boom continuously casting and un casting it till it had rolled into his hand, Chazz had also stuck the broom to himself when told to mount it so he couldn't fall off. All of a sudden Neville shot into the air Harry obviously not thinking shot after him deftly catching him on his broom as Neville fell of his own broom. Chazz later found out that Harry had been picked for the quidditch team because of it.

Authors note: next chapter involves DADA and the room of requirement. Please review if you see anything that you like, or that could be approved upon, also prepare to begin to see an OC heavy cast as Chazz begins to gather his own group of friends. Also apologies the next few chapters will be short but they will get longer I promise right now I'm just stuck building a cast researching planning plot and writing in what precious free time I have. Azreal out


	5. Chapter 5

Chazz and John are mine, Elle is LightsPast's and the rest belong to JK Rowling because really if I owned Harry Potter than would I be writing fanfiction about it?

Professor Quirrel was an idiot, a useless idiot, a supremely useless idiot, a supremely useless idiot monkey, who was currently providing Chazz with endless fun as he generated insulting adjectives for the man. After this mornings disastrous flying class Chazz had been hoping for an uneventful DADA but no not only had the man barley been able to speak he stuttered so hard, he had given Chazz a detention, a detention! This had been assigned for Chazz being out of dress code which admittedly he wasn't just out of dress code he'd taken the dress code ripped it up and stomped on it. But still even Minne which was Chazz's new name for his transfiguration professor, shed tried to give him a detention for that but he had quite successfully argued that as long as she insisted on calling him Charles she was Minne. Even she hadn't given him a detention for being out of dress code, and secondly who eats that much garlic?  
Chazz's free period luckily aligned with Elle's and with his new friend John Chows, John was a half blood Slytherin who had been raised by his muggle mother and who had been impressed with Chazz's wit during flight and had approached him afterwards to extend a hand in friendship. The three of them had made arrangements to go to an abandoned hallway of the seventh floor to study for transfig and to figure out a way to get wifi in a bigger area than just the Gryffindor common room, the dorms, and the landing directly outside it. As Chazz was pacing and thinking about how he needed to pass transfiguration which was impossible if he couldn't transfigure a damn match, a door appeared in the middle of the previously blank stone hallway. Chazz voted to investigate, Elle voted that randomly appearing magical door were never a good thing and John didn't really care either way but was kinda bored. So the trio decided to enter the room.

The room which was full of textbooks, notes, blackboards, ect. on transfiguration specifically inanimate to inanimate just like a match to a needle. This confused Chazz.  
"Uhh guys right before it opened I was thinking about needing to pass transfiguration specifically how much trouble the match was giving me, either of you ever heard of this before?" Chazz asked.  
"Why of course I have" replied John "you see by my parents divorcing when I was two and being raised by my muggle mother, I have accumulated a vast amount of knowledge on wizarding matters."  
"Good one" Chazz said impersonating inspector Clueso form the pink panther. This brought a round of laughter from all three. "Well here goes nothing I need a million euros and a MQ-89 Reaper" Chazz said with much bravado this was cut off by a string of curses as the room expanded and a massive stack of euros and the assault drone appeared out of thin air.  
"Oh shit oh shit oh shit, um belay, remove, delete, do not want, do not want." Chazz screamed obviously freaked at the fact that there was now a multi ton killing machine sitting in front of him, at the last command the room shrank to its original size. Chazz looked at Elle and John with a glint in his eye. "Are you thinking what I'm thinking"

Hello Azreal here, I would like to mention that while I did introduce the room of requirement very early, technology is going to be a big part of this story and only so much of it can fit in suitcase. I had a feeling I was already stretching it so I added a different dynamic. Next chapter will involve a dueling club and paint ball. Please review Azreal out.


	6. Chapter 6

I made a big blunder I confused the dueling club with happening in first year sorry. Won't happen again, well it probably will but I will still instead I'm replacing the promised duel with quidditch and Kate Upton. Just joking about Kate Upton but there is Quidditch

"Oh hell yes" Chazz whooped as he screamed across Hogwarts grounds on his new hover bike, yeah you got that right Chazz had a hover bike and he loved it. It unlike brooms had a logical method of propulsion, airbags, parachutes and tons of other really bad ass features like the fact that it could go 120mph. However it had been a lot of work to get, the room relied upon the users mind for what they wanted so to make say a engine you had to know not just what it looked like on the outside but how it looked on the inside and more importantly how it worked. Finding the schematics had been grueling but was worth it. Harry was at his first quidditch practice and so Chazz was trying out his new hover bike. Hermione was convinced some massive conspiracy was afoot and was researching Nicholas Flamel with Johns help, he couldn't resist a good scheme. Chazz had also met Filch who he had struck a deal with, Chazz gave Filch peices of modern technology to take apart and filch would not get Chazz or his friends in trouble. This deal had allowed Ron Harry and Hermione time to run...straight into a three headed dog named fluffy.

Two days later and the search for Flamel had yielded no results. Chazz had an idea though.  
"What about the room" he said.  
Hermione's eyes lit up "that's a good idea we should go after curfew"  
"Ooh little miss perfect, breaking the rules" Ron taunted. This earned him a swift kick to the shin from Hermione.  
"Okay i'll get Elle and John-" Chazz was cut off by Ron "I don't see why you hang out with that Slytherin."  
"Because not all Slytherins are bad just most" Chazz snapped back still making sure his voice contained an edge of humor.  
"Alright, alright" Ron said "I just feel like he's planning something"  
"He's always planning something" Chazz replied.

The six gathered outside the hallway to the room of requirement. "I need to know more about Nicholas Flamel" Chazz intoned while pacing. The door appeared as usual and they entered. Harry took charge upon seeing the massive pile of letters, books, newspapers, and magazines that were in rows before them. "Hermione, your on books, Ron letters, Elle, magazines, Chazz newspapers, I will compile smilier accounts, and John you will peice it together okay?" A Corus of "on it"'s filled the room as each moved to compleat their respective tasks. As it was Hermione found sixteen entries that seemed to deal with a Flamel that had enough information to use, Chazz found four, Elle two and the stack of letters collapsed on top of Ron. When they pieced it all together there was a huge problem the dates spanned over three hundred years, even for a wizard this was impossible. There was however a reference to an immortality giving philosophers stone rumored to be created by Flamel. This must have been what whoever broke into Gringots was looking for. After discovering this and compiling it in a folder in Chazz's iPad they dispersed to their respective dormitories. Halfway through the night Chazz heard a huge crash from the common room throwing on his jacket over his PJs and grabbing his wand he ran down stairs to find two twin red head girls cursing in front of a slide...a slide located where the stairs to the girls dorm normally was.  
"Well fuck I thought transfiguration would work" said the girl on the left.  
"Me too bro" said the, girl? Located on the right. "I can't figure out what went wrong"  
Chazz put two and two together quite quickly for it being 2am, meaning he stared at the two for about 30seconds before whispering "Fred George, is that you?"  
"Well-"  
"-that would depend-"  
"-upon whose asking." The twin replied  
"It's me Chazz and would a sticking charm work" Chazz said hoping that his favorite spell could be of some use.  
"Oh hi Chazz, and naw it's enchanted to resist magic otherwise we would have transfigured it by now, and you never saw us alright. George , it also could have been Fred replied.  
"Saw what" Chazz said before turning in, he was far to tired to deal with the twins antics.

Chazz returned to his blissful sleep. The next day was the first quidditch match Gryffindor VS. Slytherin and Chazz had been picked to be this years commentator. It was going to be EPIC. After breakfast Chazz was called in to speak with professor Mcgonaggle about "proper announcing edict" "you must not bash any team even Slytherin, you may not bash the referee, you may not bash your own team, you may not hex any student, teacher, visitor or small animal, you may not attempt to blow up the quidditch pitch, you may not hit a bludger at a player, student, or teacher, you may not catch the golden snitch, you may not curse in any language including dead or made up languages, you may not threaten anyone with death, dismemberment, disembowlment, decapatation, assault with a deadly weapon, assault with a non deadly weapon-" she stopped at Chazz's raised hand. "Yes mr. Logan"  
"Uh did all of this really happen?" He asked.  
"Sadly"she replied "yes"  
Chazz was suddenly a lot more worried. Nonetheless he made his way to the announcers podium and readied himself. As the stands filled he announced the teams. "Coming out the right door we have the golden lions, the pride of Hogwarts, the unconquerable beasts. The Gryffindors!" He roared to a deafening applause.  
"And coming out the left doors we have the Slytherins" he turned to Minnie "no bashing see" she sighed this was going to be a long year.  
"The Gryffindors are captained by the dashing, brilliant Oliver woods, and the Slytherins are captained by...one moment please...er...I appear to have forgotten his name so..the Slytherins are captained by the Slytherin captain." Mcgonagle had to admit that his particular style of insulting the Slytherins was not covered in her speech, and technically she couldn't do anything about it, she swore Charles Logan was going to drive her to drinking. "the captains are now shaking hands, or rather Oliver is attempting to shake hands while the Slytherin captain is attempting to crush Oliver's hand...rather unsuccessfully I might add in fact I didn't even know someone's face could turn that particular shade of purple" Chazz's next words were drowned out by the sound of laughter as even the Slytherins had to laugh at Chazz's brutally honest it slightly biased commentary.  
"And now there off Angelina one of Gryffindors finest chasers a living bolt of scarlet has the ball now it's to Katie Bell and...it's a goal! Now the ball, yes I know it has another name I just can't pronounce it, anyways the ball is in the Slytherins possession specifically that of...huh guess I forgot her name too, oh well doesn't matter because Alica of Gryffindor has possessio- no wait she doesn't Angelina does and she dropped it now...would you believe that I forgot the entire Slytherin teams names and he scores Gryffindors glorious golden lions and the slytherins are tied." At this point Mcgonagle decided she couldn't win and joined the rest of the stadium in laughter.  
"Wait that's a foul two of the Slytherin chasers knocked Alica of her broom...and now the big stocky one got hit by two bludgers at the same time, that must hurt, now I feel would be a good idea to mention the fact that I find it insane to hit large cast iron balls at fellow students, and Gryffindor scores with the snakes now losing by-" Chazz's words were cut off when a bludger was aimed at his face, Chazz however was quite adept at ducking so instead it hit, and knocked professor Sprout out.  
"Well that was uncalled for. And hey Gryffindor gets two penalty shots and beater number 1 is removed from the game this puts Gryfindor ad an advantage as even missing a player they are still invincible, and as if to demonstrate my point Gryffindor is up by twenty as both Angelina and Katie put one away, muggle term I mean they scored, sorry for the slang folks I still haven't been brainwashed to praising Merlin's pants yet, also I'm pretty sure Merlin didn't even wear pants and...uhh is anyone else seeing what's going on with Harry's broom? It's jinxed or at least looks like it, hopefully someone can get a counter curse going- and in a spectacular foul the seeker for Slytherin just punched Oliver wood and knocked him off his broom, of course he managed to destabilize himse- OH DEAR GOD THE STANDS ARE ON FIRE!" This last bit was screamed as Chazz noticed the flames coming off of Snape's the fire was quickly extinguished.  
Just in time for Chazz to notice. "Harry's caught it, he's caught, er well more like swallowed the snitch Gryffindor wins!

Thanks for reading please review! Also I would like to thank lights past for always leaving a review I love the feed back well that's all folks-Azreal out.


	7. Chapter 7

One thing Chazz had to say about wizards was that they knew how to party Fred and George had secured a massive stash of wizarding food and candy and Chazz had decided to contribute with muggle food snuck out of The Room. Turns out that your average Gryffindor adores pizza. The party continued to around eleven PM when all but the stragglers had turned in Chazz however had other things to do. John Elle and Chazz had converted an old abandoned classroom of which there were a lot of at Hogwarts, and were using it as a "war room" John had gotten caught up in Hermione's schemes and was now attempting to correlate their data on top of planning a massive prank for Halloween. Chazz had promised to help him by placing fireworks in the great hall. The sext day was Halloween and Chazz was ecstatic it was his favorite holiday and because of the Room he had a startlingly accurate set of Master Chiefs mark IV Mnjoir powered armor and a reproduction of a spartan laser and designated battle rifle (DMR) heading down stairs Chazz was surprised to see the twins dressed up as...Dumbledores identical Dumbledores with authentic beards. He waved at the pair who nodded sagely. Most of the student body of course had no idea who John117 was, the muggleborns were in awe of his costume especially one tall first year who had attempted to go as sergeant Johnson but was white...it did not work well at all. The day was relatively uneventful until dinner. When professor Quirrel burst in screaming about a troll in the dungeons and then fainted. They were ordered to return to their dormitories Chazz seeing a serious logical fallacy ran up to Dumbledore "headmaster!"He yelled  
"Yes my boy" replied a very anxious Dumbledore  
"Sir the Slytherins can't go to their dormitories sir their in the dungeons" Chazz yelled again he was very upset about the terrible lack of foresight the headmaster was displaying. Dumbledore thought for a moment and ruled that the Slytherins would wait in the great hall. Halfway to the dorms Hermione pulled Ron, Chazz and Harry out of line.  
"Guys it's obvious the troll is a distraction Snape's trying to steal the stone." She said.  
"Damn" Chazz said "I didn't think of that."  
So off the four ran to find the troll, Hermione who was quite adapt at magic managed a located spell and traced it to a girls bathroom, why it was there Chazz had no idea whatsoever.  
"Wait guys are we seriously going to try to fight a troll" he said.  
Of course n-" Hermione was cut off as the troll turned towards them and raised its club.  
"Well that answers my question" Chazz said Hermione attempted to set its club on fire which led to a burning club being swung at Harry who barely kept his head. The troll swung at Ron and missed hitting the door way and was hit by two sticking charms, one to stick the club to the door and one to stick its hands to its club. Hermione gave him a "seriously" glance. Chazz replied "hey it's the only spell I'm any good at" this wasn't true as he could now transfigure wooden objects to metal and this would have just made the troll deadlier. Ron Harry and Hermione together levitated a bathroom sink and dropped it on the trolls head knocking it out. At which point Chazz kicked it in the face several times. And for their hard work they'd gotten detention for a week and some how 150 house points when the teachers showed up.  
All in all not very fun, Chazz had learned that in a battle between power armor and a trolls nose, the power armor won.

Sorry for the short chapter real life got in the way of my writing...curse you real life anyways the craze is over so daily updates will resume azreal out


	8. Chapter 8

The next weeks until Christmas break flew by, Chazz was steadily getting better at magic he still blew off the homework he had been studying in the room and was getting pretty good at transfiguration and charm, he still sucked at DADA, but that had a lot to do with Quirrel being a terrible teacher. For Christmas Chazz had decided to stay at Hogwarts as his parents had a big medical convention in Prague. Harry was staying for obvious reasons and Ron had decided to stay as well. Ron had on fact managed to organize a large group to play wizard chess, Chazz on the other hand was taking bets on who would win and in the process raking in a large amount of money. Christmas itself was spectacular Harry got an invisibility cloak which Chazz could see so much potential for. Chazz had gotten a full surgical kit, a set of small remote control spy drones, and a chemistry text book from his parents. He had received the first as he had been talking with his parents about the application of magic in medicine and they wanted him to pursue it, the second because it was a new technology and he loved tech and the third because he was interested in bending if not breaking magical theory by applying science to it. He'd managed to create graphite out of a block of wood by imagining its chemical structure so he believed that he could create anything he knew the chemical composition of. Chazz had converted an empty class room into a lab of sorts and was working on breaking the laws of magic. The laws specifically were Gamp's laws of transfiguration.

1.)you can not create food.  
2.) you can not transfigure or conjure objects to gold.  
3.)you can not bring back the dead.  
4.)difficulty increases exponentially with complexity  
5.)wands, broomsticks, and other inherently magical objects.

Chazz had a plan to break each an every one. For food Chazz decided to use chemistry if food couldn't be created carbon, hydrogen, phosphorous, and oxygen could be created. Align them in the right way and you have glucose, or lipids or amino acids or even DNA all he had to do was know enough chemistry. Gold was trickier it was a pure substance so couldn't be tricked by dividing it into its parts so Chazz would summon lead of a specific isotope which would decay rather quickly into gold. For the dead Chazz had solved only one issue avarda kadarva as far as he could tell simply stopped the heart thus a jolt of alternating current to the AV node in the heart should theoretically revitalize the subject. With complexity Chazz would work like a 3D printer laying layer after layer instead of the whole object and well for magical objects he had no idea but he would break it he was sure of it.  
The other half of the room not dedicated to lumps of pure elements, white boards with magical theory written on them, and chemistry equations drawn in chalk, was covered with muggle machines in pieces on desks. Chazz was also working on blending magic and technology for example he was working on a vacuum cleaner that vanished what it sucked up.

I am so sorry this chapter is abysmally short but life is hectic and I just can't write fast enough anyways I need ideas for magical theory, half magical half technological inventions and the like thanks so much-Azræl out


	9. Chapter 9

Chazz groaned Christmas break had just ended and he already had six essays to write. Six! And now he had potions which he rather liked, he had watched food network a lot while growing up and the skills necessary for cooking carried over too potion making. The dungeon was, as ever, dreary and damp a multitude of small glass vials filled the shelves that lined the room contained dangerous, rare, and mystical ingredients for potions. Chazz sat down at the lab table he shared with Hermione, they had, had to pick partners and so Ron and Harry and Chazz and Hermione had paired up. This was much to the ire of Snape and Draco who were both flummoxed and angered by the fact that two muggle borns were the top of the potions class. For today's lessor they were brewing a simple burn healing salve. Chazz glanced at the ingredients

Burn Healing Salve:  
13 Camellia petals chopped fine.  
7 crushed holly berries  
3tsp Snowdrop nectar  
4 dried chokeberries  
3oz essence of witch hazel

Chazz mentally added dittany to the ingredients list. They were supposed to use a silver knife to slice the Camellia and crush the holly. Chaz stopped before he made the first cut and pulled out of his potion kit a Titanium scalpel from his parents. It was perfect titanium was inert so no properties would be passed into the potion none could be. He quickly began to slice the small petals, upon completion he added them to the potion which went from clear to solid white where the petals landed, the white spread through out the clear water like tendrils of smoke. Chazz then crushed the holly berries directly above the potion in order to ensure that most of the juice would fall inside the cauldron and then dropped them in, this caused the water to seem to crystalize the white smoke drifting took on a look more akin to a quarts crystal than smoke. Stirring twice counter clockwise caused the tendrils to retreat to the cauldrons center looking almost like a giant ice cube next to go in were the snowdrop, witch hazel, and dittany. The addition of witch made the white core more transparent and spread it and the crystallization to almost the whole cauldron. Finally he was to put it over a cold flame this meant a red flame not blue but Chazz had an idea a cold flame, he'd seen a fire freezing charm before so he tried it the flames were a pale blue under the cauldron as he dropped the choke berries in. The potion looked like ice but with a very pale blue core. Chazz had brewed a perfect potion and then had improved upon it.

Sorry for a chapter so dedicated to one aspect I'm just trying out some new writing tricks tell me if you like them or not. Also see my new story The Necromancer Chronicles Hadrian and look on LightsPast's profile for The Necromancer Chronicles Willow thanks- Azreal out

P.S. free cookies for the first person to guess why I chose the plants I did.


	10. Chapter 10

Sorry this update took for fricken ever. I had to plan where this crazy AU thing was gunna go and had to change my writing style entirely on a whim. Anyways I know I've said this before but we are now on for regular updates every Monday evening or well that's for the US so...well never mind on to the story!

"Snape thinks you will be a what?" Hermione shrieked spitting her pumpkin juice all over the daily prophet.  
"A potions master because apparently a basic knowledge of chemistry and some background knowledge makes for one hell of a potion" Chazz replied smirking at the flustered Hermione.  
"But Snape hates you!" She snapped.  
Chazz leaned back and placed his hands behind his head "not anymore, The dungeon bat has finally recognized my outstanding ability."  
"To do what, follow a bloody recipe?" Snorted Ron.  
"Oh shut up, your just pissed off cus your potion turned pink and melted your stirring rod" Chazz shot back, grinning at the banter.  
Ron opened his mouth closed it again and then finally raised one finger "point."  
"Well Snape still hates me, and I don't think I have any 'secret' potions skills to help me out." Said Harry.  
"Anyways" cut Hermione's voice, having regained her composure she was looking as studious and dignified as she could with pumpkin juice in her bushy hair, "we have to get to transfiguration or Mcgonagle will fail us"  
"Come off it, Mione, Minne's not that cruel she'd probably kill us first then expel us." Hermione hated being called Mione almost as much as Mcgonagle HATED being called Minne so Chazz made a point to do so on a regular basis. "Anyways, we sill best be off expulsion or not I'd hate to invoke Minne's ire unintentionally."  
"Unintentionally?" Ron raised an eyebrow as the four rose to their feet grabbing books and quills or in Chazz's case books note pad and IPad.  
"Well yeah, if I'm gunna piss someone off I damn well want it to be worth it." Chazz quipped jokingly.  
"I'd rather do the deed but not be caught" Harry said "that's why I have an invisibility cloak."  
"All three of you are idiots, why would you want to get in trouble?" Hermione snapped at the trios banter.  
"Oh I don't know, Miss set a teachers cloak on fire" Chazz replied enjoying the vivid shade of scarlet Hermione's face flushed and her stammering.  
"Admittedly that was to save my life" Harry said.  
"Don't be so melodramatic" Chazz replied.  
"Yeah you wouldn't have died...just broken most of your bones and been hospitalized for the rest of the year" Ron added on."  
"Watch the stair" Hermione called as all the four began to climb the stairs leading to transfiguration. There was a trick stair there that Neville had been stuck in for an hour.  
"Thanks Mione" Chazz quickly hopped over the offending stair and turned back to Harry "anyways spending the rest of the year in the hospital wing means no exams so win win right mate?"  
"Yeah, because lying flat on my back with dozens of fractures sounds like a wonderful way to pass my time" Harry elbowed Chazz.  
"Well" piped Hermione "you could study in the Hospital wing"  
"And that makes it so much bloody better then doesn't it?" Grummbled Ron.  
Rounding the top of the flight of stairs and turning into the transfiguration hallway Chazz, Ron, Harry, and Hermione barley escaped the stair case rotating and sending the about 15 or so other first years behind them to an unintended destination.  
Ron shook his head "well thats just bloody unlucky."  
Filling in to the class room the four sat down. Chazz took his  
iPhone out of his pocket and clicked it on. "And with five minutes to spare" Chazz high dived Harry and Ron. "Told you we wouldn't be late Mione."  
She replied by sticking out her tongue.  
Chazz raised an eyebrow at this, Mione had loosed up in the months since he'd met her. She was still he same studious, priorities out of proportion, nagging, full of herself girl but a little less so he guessed.  
A brown and grey tabby sauntered in to the classroom promptly transforming into a human. Ms. Mcgonagle's eagle eyes cut through the room searching for students missing and parchment still not prepared.  
"Let us begin today's lesson" she commanded as with a flurry of robes she spun, and with a sharp flick of her wand the once empty chalkboard filled with notes and the days lecture began.

Two Hours Later: Gryffindor tower (free period)

"Three bloody pages on turning a bloody pencil to a bleeding dart!" Ron roared. "I can't believe the homework loads they just, you know shove on us, like we don't have anything better to do."  
"That's because we don't have anything better to do, Ron. Also if you put half the energy you spent complaining into your work you'd already be done." Hermione's face had an air of smugness at the last bit. She'd already finished her homework. Ron crumpled his blank sheet of parchment and threw it at her. Much to Chazz's amusement Harry acted on instinct snatching it out of the air as if it was a snitch with out so much as a glance upwards.  
"Anyways" Chazz drawled leaning back into the overstuffed armchair in which he was sitting in order to stretch "I'm off to see the bat. Guess he wants to start his mentor ship of me or some crap-" at the look on Hermione's face he quickly added "I'll take notes! You don't have to look like I killed you puppy or something, geez."  
After waving goodbye to his friends while clambering out of the portrait hole he was lost in silence. His thoughts wandered to his first hectic days at this f 'ed up nut house of a school. Ruffling his hand through his dark brown hair he chuckled involuntarily. Here he was talking to a teacher about a career in brewing potions. Sure it was crazy, and sure he thought it was a dream at times, or that he was in a coma, or dead...but this school this crazy messed up wizard school had become his home, and the crazy wizards that inhabited it had become his friends and even more they had become his family. Reaching the dungeon he opened the door. A blast of light spilled out  
"Come in Mister Logan, your late" came the snarky voice from inside.

Hey you wonderful readers! Yes you! See that button that says review? Of course you do! Click it and give some feedback please. Any ways see ya next week Azreal out-


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